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Someone has been impersonating me and taking credit for my book. Oh well, any publicity is good publicity as they say: Link to suspect publicity

There are portals to other reflections of reality — worlds in which Oscar Wilde lives on in his statue. And speaks. Two friends accidentally meditate their way into the bodies of tortoises. Hassleforth Gingerberry encounters a man with an extremely unfortunate name. Meanwhile, Alternative Science conducts cutting-edge research into cloning — though their results include…

ahfirfuk noun The sense of frustration which is felt because something very simple has been changed into something very complicated. An example would be if you purchase a pair of scissors only to find that they double up as tweezers. Another example is shoes with an unnecessarily intricate lace system. Yet another example is when…

regretverastion noun The feeling you get when you ask someone a question and then have to sit politely through an overly long explanation that you don’t really want to hear.

Stumpeeze noun to stumpeeze verb When sneezing, the action of terminating the sneeze with a blunt ‘umph’ sound as opposed to an ‘achoo!’. There is a correlation between people who sneeze in this way and psychopathy. People who stumpeeze have also been found to have bulbous fingertips and toe-tips due to the internalizing of the…

I wanted to see if I could drink the whole river up. I went down when I thought the river would be sleepy, tired, lethargic slump sounds of grumpy sloops moving against their will under reluctant currents. I dipped my feet in the water but the mud took over my feet in mud and water-mud…

Back stretching leg-rubbing head Throbbing temple steaming Feet freezing body sweating trip To the bathroom for water choking Gut wrenching phlegm filling eye blurring stomach burning Lung tearing hand gripping tongue Coating belch of vomit in the sink Dirty flesh crawling skin dulling face Torrid mind bending realizing Day breaking light finding vision paining Terror…

The Village of Expletives During my travels in the West of Ireland, whilst I was looking for evidence of the creature known as the giggling bure, I had an interesting encounter in a pub, which I must here relate. I had not stopped in for a drink: that’s not the right way to put it….

Stubellum noun From the Latin: stultus (idiot) plus bellum (war). Literally an ‘idiot war’, stubellum occurs when the actions of two idiots cancel each other out. The word has its origins in an motor vehicle incident involving a Ms. Lorraine McDermott and a Ms Fiona O’Connell at the intersection of Bridge Street and Water Street,…

Atheism is not a philosophy. Atheism is the disbelief in the proposition that a God exists. The statement is given by a theist: God exists. The answer is given by the atheist: I don’t believe that statement. That is all atheism is. It is not a philosophy in itself. It is not a worldview. It…